{just don’t wake me when you leave}

i hate that i miss you. even when i am next to, intertwined with you

i am seemingly incapable of cherishing the moment before it passes

perhaps it is so used to not having, to longing, to wishing, to missing

i want you

but i want me

and i don’t know how to do both

don’t hold it against me when i leave earlier than i have to. i can’t let myself have it all. i need to miss you to know that i want you. i need to miss you so i can keep myself from falling too fast.

"nothing here has quite worked out how i expected”
“most things don’t. but sometimes what happens instead is the good stuff"

—the best exotic marigold hotel

{the places i go are never there}

lock the door as i had so many times before

two steps back

wait, did i really

or is it such a habit

i can’t quite remember

unlock, lock

wait, i’m not ready

open, look, remember

close the heavy wooden door

the knob so familiar in my hand

a newfound hesitation keeps me from walking away

one last time, i promise

because i know next time won’t be the same

like an hourglass going too fast

i saw my home holding the blessings, the challenges, the pain, the growth, the smiling too big to be able to fall asleep. where i stood. where we lay.

the everything.

inhale

with the exhale

comes a whisper as sweet as kissing a lovers’ lips

thank you

thank you

thank you

the world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning.

—ivy baker priest

"i think i can, i think i can…"

the little engine that could

(Source: icanread, via pocketofparadise)

{is it so bad to be in love with a memory?}

i realize i am incapable of feeling too little,

but always too much.

"sometimes your head needs more time to accept what your heart already knows"